I haven’t heard from my bio-father since the day after Thanksgiving. I haven’t heard from my bio-brother since the day before that. I’ve left two voice mail messages, but I am not going to keep calling. I am not even sure what to think about this.
I am disappointed and a bit hurt. I somewhat regret venturing down this path. To some degree it is easier not knowing the whereabouts of birth-family. It is surely easier than sensing lack luster interest from said birth-family after locating them.
I think my bio-father might be a bit upset that I did not meet with him over Thanksgiving weekend. Our plans changed and I thought it was for the best. It’s complicated. Yet, I get the sense that he isn’t taking it well. Actually, I am not sure how he is taking it, since I haven’t spoken to him in over two weeks. Can you tell that I am upset?
I know that it sounds cheesy, but I seriously question whether blood is thicker than water. Actually, I know it isn’t. Shared DNA doesn’t necessarily suggest the existence or possibility for f meaningful connections.
My bio-brother sent me a serious of odd texts last night. I think our life experiences are so vastly different, that relating is a struggle. This yet again confirms that environment is so much more influential than the genes we inherit.
I am probably placing too much pressure on this “reunion” but it is turning out nothing like I imagined it would.
….and the uncertainty continues.
I agree that blood is NOT thicker than water. Yet, I come from a very close knit family (on my mother’s side). My dad is in my life, but not his family. After my Grandmother’s death, the family cease being a unit, and while I miss them and will ask about them, I’m not venturing out to reconnect with them.
I know you know this, but it takes two to make a relationship work. And perhaps you need to step back a sec and let your bio-father decide what he wants. Continue to reach out to your friends and family for support as you allow him to make the next move. It’s that whole horse and water thing.
Love. AA
Even though I can’t know your exact experience, your transparency and sharing here is opens my eyes. It also speaks to the struggle we all manage with our bio-family. Relationships can be tough, in the best of circumstances. Here’s hoping that feelings mend and the connections develop, even if it’s just a small step at a time.
It may take a while to figure out how to talk with your bio. family; it’s new to all of you. Wishing you strength through the difficulties!
Part of me is worried that he just isn’t interest. I am getting a flat-line from him. It is what it is i guess
I have tried to chronicle this entire journey – mostly for myself, but also for others who are about to embark on a parent search. Perhaps someone else won’t feel so alone and confused as I have in the past.