I am reminded of my mother, Sigrid Ivanovic, who taught me that I can start and run my own successful business while growing and nurturing meaningful relationships (and perhaps a family one day).

I am reminded of my grandmother, Erna Schaefer, who rebuild her family and community in post-World War II Germany, raised a family on the front lines of the Cold War in a little town along the east / west border, and steadfastly cared for her husband during the last years of his life.

I am reminded of all the women who fight to protect their bodies, their families, their communities, every single day, whose work goes unnoticed and unacknowledged on a daily basis and during the numerous televised and publicized television award shows.  I solute them today and every day.

I am reminded of our many steadfast and enduring allies – husbands, partners, friends, fathers, brothers, uncles – who come along side of us as we fight for our liberation.

As I reflect on the many hard-fought victories over the last 100 years, I am also painfully aware of the many ways in which women’s bodies, families and communities are under attack from many places of power in our societies – from local, state and federal government, from within many of our places of worship, from within our educational institutions, and even from within many of our homes.

….from the threat of defunding Planned Parenthood and other critical health and and wellness service

….from egregious and ridiculous anti-immigrant racial profiling legislation

….from policies that empower officials to shackle pregnant women in our prisons

On March 8…..that’s TODAY at 11:00 a.m., women’s rights and human rights activists will host a press conference/celebration in front of the State Capitol to celebrate 100 years of struggle led by immigrant women and call on law makers to reject legislation attacking immigrant women’s human rights.

The heroic strikes by women garment workers, mostly young immigrants, at the turn of the century electrified the world, and their efforts to win decent wages and working conditions were honored by establishing March 8 as International Working Women’s Day.

“The achievements of tens of millions of women at work, in their communities, families, organizations, and schools – today and over the decades – must not be ignored and disrespected by racially-biased, anti-immigrant legislation,” said Loretta Ross, a founder and the National Coordinator of SisterSong Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collective.  “As women from all backgrounds, we will gather at the Capitol to demand human rights for all women.”

*from IWD press release, SPARK Women of Color Reproductive Justice Collaborative

How are you celebrating 100 years of struggle and victory for women’s and human rights? Send photos and video and I will post with a link to your blog or community/organization blog!

Who are the unsung female heroes and trailblazers in your life?

The people of southern Sudan are currently voting in a referendum that will determine whether they will remain part of Sudan or break away to form an independent nation, thereby partitioning Africa’s largest landmass. Voting began on January 9 and will end on January 15.

Remember the 60 Minutes segment late last year chronicling George Clooney’s ongoing work in Sudan? This sounded an alarm that Sudan may once again be teetering on the brink of genocide?  Several years ago Clooney joined forces with The Enough Project, an organization that works to build a permanent constituency to prevent genocide and crimes against humanity throughout the world. Together they have been making a lot of noise, once again directing the world’s gaze on Sudan for this pivotal and potentially historic moment.

It’s going to take a lot more than the world’s gaze once again fixed on Sudan to see how this historical referendum plays out. What really matters is how the North will respond once the election results are confirmed next month, and whether the world continues to watch this potentially violent response, or whether the international community will step to prevent what many human rights organizations on the ground in Abyei have been warning against for months.

This scenario is very likely, particularly with Khartoum’s militarization of  the border region in recent months. Further, the North remains economic dependence on the South’s rich oil deposits. Despite its oil wealth, the South is still one of the most impoverished and economically devastated regions in the world. This is a product of not only Khartoum’s corrupt leadership, but also of colonial legacies and post-colonial realities.

Pivotal questions remain. Will the world continue to watch as Sudan teeters on the brink of another genocide, or will the world act? Will “never again” come to mean more than a hallow catch-phrase that sounds pretty but lacks any real substance when judged on the the basis of the world’s response Kosovo, Rwanda, Chechnya, Armenia, Kurdistan…shall I go on?

Furthermore, setting aside plausible northern responses (all of which are speculative at this point), another question arises. What will the potentially newly independent southern government do with this opportunity?

While Abyei could choose to follow the lead of its northern counterpart by perpetuating oppressive and divisive government policies, it also has the opportunity to take a different road. It can choose to build a society based on just and inclusive, democratic rule.

Only time will tell. Until then, the world watches.

If you are or know of an individual, cause or organization we should be highlighting on The Diversity Projekt, please drop us an email at thdiversityprojekt [at] gmail [dot]com.

Please welcome our very first Hands and Feet Profile – Jamila Gaskins!

Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.
~ Holocaust Museum, Washington, DC

HIV/AIDS is still a crisis in the United States. We have drugs which help people live longer which keeps it out of the news. This generally means out of sight out of mind. It is important for our health and well-being as a society that we don’t forget the history, stay current with who and how the disease affects us, and approach prevention in terms of both individual and community responsibility.

The first cases of what would later become known as AIDS were reported in the United States in June of 1981. Since then, 1.7 million people in the U.S. are estimated to have been infected with HIV, including more than 580,000 who have already died. Today more than 1.1 million are estimated to be living with the disease today.1 Picture the entire population of the Las Vegas, NV metropolitan area. Every 9½ minutes, someone in the U.S. is infected with HIV.2

Women and girls are 50% of people 15 years old and older living with HIV.3 In America, today, we have nearly 280,000 women living with HIV/AIDS.1 In 1995 women represented 8% of all new HIV infections in America. By 2005 that percentage had more than tripled to 27%.4 Among women diagnosed with AIDS in 2008, 77% of black/African American women, 75% of Hispanic/Latino women and 65% of white women became infected through heterosexual contact.5 Many of the HIV+ women and girls are low-income, or living in poverty, primary care givers, victims of violence, deal with substance abuse and low self-esteem and self-worth, lack the knowledge or ability to negotiate sexual activity and condom use, and lack access to health care for many reasons including language and cultural barriers. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, given these trends and issues, efforts to stem the tide of the U.S. HIV/AIDS epidemic will increasingly depend on how and to what extent its effect on women and girls is addressed.

As we experience the feminization of HIV, it becomes more and more apparent that we need to work together as a whole to address the factors that keep women vulnerable. This will in turn strengthen our communities. Each of us has the ability to be active participants in prevention. It may not be directly in HIV/AIDS services or treatment. By addressing the individual factors, we are able to affect change on a larger scale. There are a number of things you can do. You can be a tutor at an after school program and help a girl with her education which leads to a better economic future. You can become a mentor or coach a girl’s sports team which increases self-esteem and helps a girl be stronger and more confident in herself and her choices. You can choose become a sexual assault victims advocate, volunteer at a women’s shelter, volunteer or work at your local job skills training program. We all have women we love, a girlfriend, wife, mother, daughter, aunt, niece, grandmother, or a best friend. It is vital that they are confident in their voice, secure with themselves and knowledgeable enough to make informed, healthy decisions in every aspect of their lives.

1. KFF, The HIV/AIDS Epidemic in the United States – Fact Sheet, September 2009
2. CDC, HV Prevention in the United States at a Critical Crossroads, August 2009
3. UNAIDS, World Health Organization. 2009. 2009 AIDS epidemic
4. KFF, Women and HIV/AIDS in the United States – Fact Sheet, Sept 2009
5. AVERT, United States Statistics by race and age

Jamila K. Gaskins is an independent film producer based in Los Angeles and a former sexual assault victim’s advocate. She is currently producing, Project 1, a documentary on the prevention of HIV for women in America. You can join her on Facebook, as well as our Twitter account.

International Migrants Day commemorates the United Nations’ adoption of  International Convention on the Protection of the Rights of All Migrant Workers and Members of Their Families on 18 December 1990.

This day is an opportunity to recognise the contributions made by millions of immigrants to the development and well-being of so many countries in the world, including the United States, to promote respect for the rights of immigrant workers and their families, and to highlight the issues that are of key interest to migrants and their communities (those they live in and those they leave behind).

According to the International Labor Organization.

….close to half of all migrants and refugees worldwide – or some 86 million adults – are economically active, employed or otherwise engaged in remunerative activity, according to a new report released today by the International Labour Office (ILO).

This report is important in dispelling the myths surrounding global migration, particularly those that position migrants as threats to local economies and resources.

It is quite timely, and I believe NO coincidence, that today, International Migrants Day, the U.S. Senate is on the verge of voting on the DREAM Act, a critical piece of legislation, critical for the economy, critical for the future of young adults who deserve a future in the United States, the only home they have ever known!

WATCH IT ALL LIVE Here, starting 9 am EST with the debate and an expected 10:30 am vote: http://www.c-span.org/Live-Video/C-SPAN2/

Immigrant students under the DREAM Act could add between $1.4 to $3.6 TRILLION in taxable income to our economy over the course of their careers.

In a time when opponents to immigration reform legislation that speaks to human dignity, even ICE (Immigration Customs Enforcement) is even getting behind the DREAM Act,

“From the border perspective, passing something like this would in fact have a positive effect on our ability to address our nation’s borders,” said Customs and Border Patrol Deputy Commissioner David Aguilar. “It would support our efforts to focus on safety threats, smugglers and human traffickers.” Aguilar called the DREAM Act “a great force enhancer,” and said that contrary to DREAM Act opponents’ criticisms, the border was more secure than it had ever been.

“From our perspective the DREAM Act and its passage by the Senate is entirely consistent with this [enforcement policy] focusing limited resources of government on public safety, border security and the integrity of the system,” said John Morton, head of Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

You Need To Act Now!!

Before yesterday’s flurry of calls began, more than 200,000 calls had gone in to Congress in support of the DREAM Act. But it’s not over until the vote, and the vote will be THIS MORNING (Saturday). We expect the vote will take place at approximately 10:30 AM. We can’t let up yet.

Continue to call your Senators and ask them to vote YES to allow debate on the DREAM Act: Call 866-996-5161 to get patched through.

- email from National Immigration Forum

Today we remember those who came before us, who dedicated and surrendered their lives to fighting for people unable to fight for themselves!

Today we remember those living and breathing on the front lines of human rights work, at home and abroad!

Today we remember victims and survivors of political, religious, ethnic, gender and all other oppressions!

Today we recognize that there is much work left to be done!

Over the summer I saw Worse than War, a documentary by Daniel Goldhagen, Professor of Political Science at Harvard University. You may know him from his highly controversial book Hitler’s Willing Executions, in which he argues that the culpability of Nazi genocide extended far beyond the Nazi elite and their most loyal foot-soldiers. Every-day Germans were equally complicit in the atrocities committed against European Jews, Gypsies, the physically disabled, etc. More than 8 million people were systematically exterminated in a little under 4 years.

I think this can be applied on a wider scale – to the Turkish genocide of Armenian minorities after World War I, to Rwanda and Bosnia in the 1990s, to the Guatemalan genocide against the indigenous Mayans, Leopold II in the Congo, the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, the Chinese in Tibet in 1949, Iran and Iraq’s policies against the Kurds,….shall I go on?

More than 200 million innocent people have been murdered by genocide in the 20th Century. That’s more deaths by genocide than the combined deaths of all the combat wars fought during that time around the world. There has never been a time during past century when there hasn’t been genocide somewhere on the planet.

…and the world watched. The world didn’t intervene until thousands (sometimes millions) were already burdened. Sometimes the world never intervened at all. I think we (including me) are all complicit to some extend if you watch and do nothing.

In Worse than War Goldhagen goes to the many corners of the world where some of the worst human right atrocities were committed. In addition to providing a roadmap to what genocide looks like, recognizing that each incident while different, shares certain characteristcs that transcend the ways in which they differed from one another

One of the interviewees (I believe the current Minister of Justice of Rwanda) stated that you can see genocide coming from miles away. Goldhagen reframes this in a latter segment,

Leaders choose to initiate genocide…

People choose to participate in genocide…

People with power to stop genocide, choose to do nothing…

The more we know about how and why genocides happen, the more we can get political leaders and ordinary people to make different choices.

Daniel Goldhagen, Worse than War (PBS Documentary)
author of Hitler’s Willing Executioners

Until we recognizes and demand the individual and collective benefit of intervening in international situations that raise red flags of genocide to come, and holding our governments accountable to preventing future genocides from being perpetrated, we will continue to live in a world where millions are murdered. As long as instigators of genocide aren’t held accountable for their actions by the international community, genocide will continually surface in every corner of the world.

This year we also celebrate the 30th anniversary of the enactment of the Refugee Act of 1980, which established asylum, refugee admissions and resettlement systems in the United States, consolidating in a single regime its commitment to discharge the obligations it undertook by acceding to the 1967 Protocol relating to the Status of Refugees.

UNHCR was established in 1950 to protect refugees, to safeguard their rights and well-being. UNHCR not only provides life-saving assistance to refugees, but also serves as a vehicle through which refugees are able to seek asylum and/or more permanent refuge in another country if they unable to safely return to their home. UNHCR reported recently indicated that:

“43.3 million people were forcibly displaced worldwide at the end of 2009, the highest number of people uprooted by conflict and persecution since the mid-1990s. At the same time, according to the 2009 Global Trends report, the number of refugees voluntarily returning to their home countries has fallen to its lowest level in 20 years.”

Lavinia Limn, President and CEO of USCRI (US Committee on Refugees and Immigrants) recently noted in a World Refugee Day email:

As we focus on refugees from around the world today, we must not forget those still languishing in camps,” said Lim’n. It may be hard to believe, but millions of refugees spend anywhere from 10 to 60 years an entire lifetime in a refugee camp. Today, there are over 8 million refugees warehoused in camps and settlements around the world. Palestinians, Burmese, Tibetans, Bhutanese, Sudanese, and the Sahrawi top the list of long-term refugee populations. Less than 1 percent of those refugees will ever get the chance to rebuild their lives in another country.”

Crisis on No One’s Radar

As we celebrate this significant milestone, we must also be keenly aware of the many conflicts that are continuing to displace innocent men, women and children — like the conflict that has been brewing in southern Kyrgyzstan that has already displaced 400,000 people! I had to dig on CNN.com before I found an article, same with the BBC, ABC, NBC or any other alphabet soup media outlet you’d like to fill the blank with. I shouldn’t have to dig several pages into major media sites to find only a mere blurb or mention of this conflict! UNHCR and the Red Cross are already on the ground reporting that refugees are quickly running out of even the most basic supplies. This new incarnation of a conflict that dates back to the 1990s, has the potential of not only undermining the delicate stability of Kyrgyzstan, but also of its neighbor Uzbekistan, as thousands of refugees flee across the border seeking safety from Kyrgyz mobs. On June 19, CNN reports that the death toll could be considerably higher than initially estimated.

I know we are in the middle of World Cup and the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico is worsening every day. As the situation in the Gulf has taught us, we need to more fervently hold the media accountable for reporting these stories, despite the spoke and mirrors that often hinder us from obtaining vital information.

So today – remember the more than 40 million displaced individuals throughout the world, those who are being warehoused in camps with little hope of returning to their homes and those who are actively feeling ethnic and religious persecution.

What you can do!!!!

Give to UNHCR

Give of your time and talent to a local agency (check out USCRI network) that is helping refugees rebuild their lives

Share with a family member or a friend the struggles of refugees around the world and encourage them to give.

While bullying isn’t a new phenomenon, “Bullied to Death” is becoming all to common. I am not going to inundate you with statistics. Serge and Carmen have more than done their homework. Nevertheless, I felt compelled to respond to Carmen’s tweet when I saw it on my feed last week. Bullying has made the front pages of newspapers across the country at an alarming rate in recent years – children harming each other and themselves because they either felt empowered to bully others or were made to feel so insignificant that committing suicide became a viable solution.

This breaks my heart.

I remember being bullied once in school. We were stationed in Michigan at Selfridge Air National Guard Base just north of Detroit. I don’t remember her name or how it started but I do remember her constantly picking on me over my light skin and “white” hair. She taunted me and would yell ‘Don’t you think you are all that?’ She threatened to beat me up and cut my hair off. My parents always told me to take the high road and walk away – “toughen up”, “ignore it”, “don’t be so sensitive”.

No matter how much I tried to ignore her, the situation escalated to such a degree that I didn’t even want to go to school. Waiting for the bus was torture. I would make up illnesses only so that I didn’t have to go. Once she actually started hitting me, my dad told me to hit back.� I remember her coming at me, pulling my hear and shoving me. On my way down I punched at her but ended up grabbing hold of her lip. Blood was drawn. She ran away. A few hours later the base police came to our house. My dad backed me up and she never bothered me again.

Nevertheless, remains with you, sometimes even into adulthood. I dislike conflict. I often avoid it at all cost.

While I am not a parent (yet) I believe that parents are in the best position to advocate for their children – to keep them safe from bullies and to teach them the harm in bullying others. We can’t rely on school administrators and teachers to protect our children from bullying and other forms of student on student violence. While school safety is school administration mandate, parents are far better equipped to have a more significant impact.

So, if you are a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or are/wish to be a positive role model and person of influence to children in your community, this series is for you!

How to Prevent Bullying: A Parent�s Guide

By Sensei Serge Sognonvi and Carmen Sognonvi
Originally published at http://www.urbandojo.com/blog

Did you know that nearly 1 in 4 students in the United States experience some form of bullying?

It�s no wonder so many parents come to us at Urban Martial Arts with questions about how to prevent bullying.

Since June is Children�s Awareness Month � its goal is to make sure children are less exposed to violence and don�t grow up emotionally scarred � we thought this would be a good time put together a comprehensive series of articles on ways to stop bullying.

Over the course of this month, we�ll be publishing this 7-part series on how to prevent bullying:

Part 1: The 5 Essential Bullying Statistics Every Parent Should Know
Part 2: Effects of Bullying
Part 3: Why Do People Bully
Part 4: Bullying Warning Signs
Part 5: What To Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied
Part 6: What To Do If Your Child Is Bullying Others
Part 7: How Martial Arts Can Help Prevent Bullying

We hope you�ll find this series to be a useful resource on how to prevent bullying. And if you have any ideas or suggestions you�d like to offer, please do so in the comments section. We�d love your input!

• Help me make sure that transnational LGBTQ families and couples and HIV-positive foreign nationals are included in comprehensive immigration reform
  
• actively wage a battle against hate and bigotry!

I am turning 30 tomorrow – *ghasp*! This year is going to be filled with a lot of wonderful change (getting married, new job, moving to Albany….for starters), new endeavors and much joy.� I am also committed to continuing to support organizations that are fighting against hate and bigotry.� Join me in supporting the work of two fabulous organizations near and dear to my heart – Immigration Equality and the Southern Poverty Law Center. Make a donation between May 10 and May 17 to either (or both) of the below organizations in honor of my birthday! I have been a long-time donor and supporter of both organizations and believe strongly in the work they are doing. Help me make sure that they continue to have the resources to fight for individuals and families who can’t fight for themselves!

Thank you!

– Kathrin

Immigration Equality is a national organization that works to end discrimination in U.S. immigration law, to reduce the negative impact of that law on the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and HIV-positive people, and to help obtain asylum for those persecuted in their home country based on their sexual orientation, transgender identity or HIV-status. Through education, outreach, advocacy, and the maintenance of a nationwide network of resources, we provide information and support to advocates, attorneys, politicians and those who are threatened by persecution or the discriminatory impact of the law.

The Southern Poverty Law Center is a nonprofit civil rights organization dedicated to fighting hate and bigotry, and to seeking justice for the most vulnerable members of society. SPLC is dedicated to fighting hate and bigotry, and to seeking justice for the most vulnerable members of our society. Using litigation, education and other forms of advocacy, they work toward the day when the ideals of equal justice and equal opportunity will be a reality. They employ a three-pronged strategy to battle racial and social injustice: (1 track the activities of hate groups and domestic terrorists across America, and launch innovative lawsuits that seek to destroy networks of radical extremists; (2) use the courts and other forms of advocacy to win systemic reforms on behalf of victims of bigotry and discrimination; and (3) provide educators with free resources that teach school children to reject hate, embrace diversity and respect differences.

I am in full winter hibernation mode.

It never fails. I get this way every year after the holidays. After all of the commotion of the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, I hit a lull. I become a complete homebody.

Can I just say that the timing is bad this year. I have dance rehearsal twice a week for April’s Estilo performance. I haven’t kept to my standard weekly dance schedule since I went home to Jax for Christmas.

Salsa is my therapy. The Medic can attest to how much I wig out when I don’t get my fix. Nevertheless, the power of hibernation has won over for the last few months.

I am back into the swing of things as of tomorrow night:

• Tues, 630pm-730pm salsa
• Thurs, 630pm-930pm salsa/bachata
• Fri, 9pm Brasil’s or Cuba Libre
• Saturday, 1030am-230pm rehearsal and salsa
• Saturday, 9pm Brasil’s
• Sunday, 1-3pm dance rehearsal

Speaking of dancing….if you like salsa, bachata, merengue, etc. and want to make a difference in the lives of Hatians who have been impacted by the earthquake, check out an upcoming event at Brazil’s:

Date: Thursday, Feb. 11th
Time: 9pm-2am
Location: Brasil’s Nightclub
(112 Chestnut St. Phila., PA)

Join Us As Our Salsa Community Unites! Here’s your chance to help those affected by the recent events in Haiti, all while doing what you love to do most!

DJs United: DJ Jay Rockwell, DJ La Clave, DJ Jose Rodriguez, DJ Jose Maldoado; Salsa Lesson by: Vikki Woods & “Big” George Dennis; Also Featuring Great Raffles and Special Live Performances!

All DJ’s and Instructors have donated their time for this event and 100% of the proceeds will go to the relief effort on behalf of the Salsa community.

Admission: Requested $10 donation (The beneficiary chosen is the American Red Cross). YOUR DONATION DOUBLED!!! Jones New York has generously agreed to match any donations made from our fundraiser, so whatever you can give, it will be doubled!

Jeans & Shoe Donations Needed! We will also be accepting new and gently worn jeans and shoes for the people in Haiti the night of the fundraiser.

More info on Charity Organizations and their help with Haiti:
American Red Cross
Soles4Souls
Teens For Jeans
(A�ropostale Store will donate one brand new pair of jeans for every pair of donated jeans!)

I get distracted easily – sometimes to my own peril!� Case in point – I was on the bus several days ago (weeks at this point)� trying to finish my much overdo Citizenship Day post.� Everything was hunky dory. One glance to the street and I came face to face with a big ole’ confederate flag license plate on a Ford pickup truck.

I never get used to seeing that symbol of hate, especially up north. I almost expect it when I travel to a southern state. But, in a northern state it seems out of place – at first glance anyway! Reality is that the meaning ascribed to the confederate flag has shifted from being a symbol of the antebellum south to being firmly rooted in the lexicon of iconography of racism and xenophobia that has and continues to permeate through American culture and politics. The Mason Dixon line remains an artifact in the racist history of the United States, but does little to serve as a line of demarcation. The confederate flag and all that it represents flies in all 50 states.

As a quick primer for people not in the know, a confederate flag first made its appearance in March of 1861. The confederate flag would evolve to include thirteen stars (symbolizing the 13 states that seceded from the union). Not until March 1865 did it begin to resemble the current incarnation of the confederate flag that we have come to know. During World War II, Southern soldiers began to use the Confederate “battle flag” (aka “southern cross” or “rebel flag”) as their unofficial emblem. While the official use of the confederate battle flag is quite rare, it has become fossilized as one of the primary symbols of “southern” pride. (I am not sure how much pride someone should have in racism and hate, but to each their own, right?) Apparently residents in most southern states can request a license plate tag featuring the Sons of the Confederate Veterans logo. Brilliant, no?

This brings me to my most recent Christmas experience. To say that it was interesting would be an understatement. My mom spent the holiday with my Dad in Germany. (For those of you new to my blog, my dad is in the US Army and currently stationed abroad). My sister, niece and I drove up to Georgia to spend time with some of her friends. I have never felt more out of place and uncomfortable. I spent much of the long weekend at a neighbors house or visiting friends.

Of course I was the one being inappropriate and “rude” by taking issue with being surrounded by the confederate flag – blankets, screen savers…even confederate Christmas songs. I should not have to explain to my family why I (as a mixed chick) feel uncomfortable in the presence of these images and people who wear them proudly. Sometimes I wonder if it ever crosses their mind that these images are not an appropriate symbol of southern culture – other than as a reminder that hate and bigotry are alive and well in this country, that the South’s ugly past is not behind it. Many couch the meaning of the confederate flag in the debate of states rights. “Southern states were defending their states’ right enumerated in the Constitution.” But, let’s finish that sentence, shall we?! They were defending their states right to uphold the institution of slavery – an institution that viewed and treated blacks as less than chattel!

I have been sitting on this post for far too long. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I am also not going to edit myself away. Needless to say, I don’t want to ever be put into that kind of position again, especially by family. I take as much responsibility for not advocating for myself as much as I should have. Lessons learned….